Dear Emmy,

Hey love.  There were so many things that Mommy wishes she wrote down in those uncertain days in the beginning.  I’m going to do my best to remember…

Em, there were times when Mommy was scared and hoped that you wouldn’t have to struggle.  I hoped at first that my heart was wrong and that you didn’t have Williams Syndrome like they thought.  But something happened in my heart during that time.  I stopped hoping Williams Syndrome would go away and began welcoming it.  After all, it is part of who you are and we are smitten by you.  How could we hope that you’d be any different?  I welcomed it because now I saw life with different eyes.  When Ava read a book or did an amazing art project, I noticed.  When Jude ran and climbed and rode his way around the neighborhood, I noticed.  When Piper laughed, I noticed and laughed with her.  I put down my phone and noticed life again.

Something else happened Emmy.  You helped me find my words again.  I used to love to write and when I was younger, I did it well and often.  But I got distracted and tired and busy and couldn’t find the words anymore.  Now there were so many things I felt and thought and loved again.  Part of me woke up from a slumber because now life wasn’t certain or easy and I noticed the big and small and in between.  Emmy I love your wide grin and dark eyes, your little toes and your long hair.  I love the way you lay your head heavy on my shoulder and the way you scrunch your nose and squeeze my hand.

I love you my baby girl.  Thank you for you.

Love,

Mama

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3 thoughts on “Dear Emmy,

  1. So much to say and so much to think about and putting it together can be hard sometimes. But to love and feel the love is so wonderful. How do I tell you? When I don’t see those munchkins ‘I feel a hole in my heart. ‘ somethings missing and I don’t like it. Go see them again and the hole fills back up, and it feels so good again. It’s the same with Lily and Ella. And there’s more love to come.

  2. These posts are beautiful, Katy. What a great encouragement you will be to everyone you share with over the years because it’s like you’ve got your own secret glimpse of what really matters in life. Emmy is your little tear in the veil between heaven and earth.

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