Baby girl, next week you will be one. It’s been quite the year, Love. Your first birthday represents a lot for us. When I think about your year, I see snapshots in my mind that play out like a new song…a song that grips my heart. The fall brought back memories of your heart beating under mine. I wondered what you would look like, what it would feel like to hold a tiny baby again, to breathe you in. There were hopes and dreams that I held for you, all the while promising myself that I would cherish you whoever you were.
Then they handed you to me and your dark hair and eyes captivated me. I wrote to you that first night…my first “Dear Emmy”. I told you your birth story and made sure you knew you were loved even before your first cry.
Emmy, your first months were hard. We didn’t know it but you were trying to tell us something. Most of our days were spent trying to soothe you, comfort you. It’s a bit hard to remember actually…the days faded into the nights and the nights into the days. But there were these moments also…
And then those hard days became fewer and further apart. We saw your smile more often and you rolled over and sat up. You loved watching your brother and sisters and they loved watching you. I loved watching all of your “firsts” and I studied all the things that made you, you. And the dreams Mama had for you began to take shape.
Emmy, there have been surprises this year. Surprises that made my heart skip a beat, surprises that me think, weep, smile, worry, love, search, hope, and celebrate. As we prepare to light the candles on your very first birthday cake, we celebrate all the things that a year of life brings. But most of all, we celebrate you Emerson.
All My Love,